Mary's proficiency was awesome; she abandoned herself completely to the encounter, and made me feel more alive than I would have thought possible. But even at the height of our excitement, I knew that this would be the first and last time we would be together, and my exhilaration was tempered with sadness. Whatever the state of their marriage, Mary was not about to jeopardise it further by starting on an affair, especially with someone from outside her social clique.I left about midnight, although I phoned her the next day to see how she was. She was very kind, and did her best not to hurt me, but she made me promise not to call her again.* * *I didn't see her again until the night of my father's sixtieth birthday party. Of course, I was required to attend such a major event, even though most of the other people there would barely give me the time of day if we were to meet anywhere else. I felt completely out of place, and decided to find a quiet corner where I could drink the free. As I was boarding, Russell crowded in right behind me. When I sat down, he sat next to me and nudged my butt toward the window."What do you want?" I asked, keeping my voice low. "I don't want to talk to you." Please, Justine," he pleaded. I sighed and rolled my eyes, noticing that the other kids stayed towards the front of the bus, avoiding us."It isn't going to work, Russell. I can't trust you anymore." I'm so sorry. I've never been so sorry about anything. I was wrong, and stupid, and I hurt you. I know it," he said, staring at his hands in his lap."No, Russell. You were just being a guy, doing what guys do," I said. "That's the problem, I thought you'd be different. I'm the stupid one."I saw a tear splash onto Russell's leg, staining his jeans. I noticed that they were the Hollister jeans we bought together. God, I missed him."I am different, Justine," he said. I raised an eyebrow and glanced toward Molly."Yeah, right!" I said."I can't explain it. I've been thinking about it a.
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